Feb. 20, 2003 was perhaps the darkest day in the lives of Kaua‘i parents Chad and Divina Plowman.

On that day, their daughter, Connor Paet Plowman, died, two days after she was born at Wilcox Hospital.

The baby was born healthy but had a very rare congenital heart defect called Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Return, and passed away while waiting for open-heart surgery.

The death of her daughter traumatized Mrs. Plowman, left her ill, reclusive, hateful of other mothers with children and pregnant women and prone to anxiety attacks.

Though strongly religious, Mrs. Plowman cursed God for taking her daughter. But the couple’s deep faith in God eventually helped them to heal and recover from their personal tragedy they say they will remember the rest their lives.

In memory of their daughter, nearly a year after her death, the Plowmans, residents of Lihu‘e, will host "The Celebration of Life Golf Tournament and Concert" at the Puakea Golf Course in Lihu‘e on Feb. 28.

Following the tournament, an award ceremony and celebration will be held the same day at the Kukui Grove Pavilion.

The event will feature entertainment by the Aloha Breeze, Imua, Revival and Opihi Pickers, food and Garden Island Inflatables for keikis.

All the proceeds will benefit the American heart Association’s Legacy of Life Endowment, a national research campaign to raise funds for research on congenial defects, and the American Heart Association’s Kauai Division.

The Plowmans said the event is an effort to raise public awareness about a medical condition that affects 40,000 babies each year in the United States.

In mining for information about the medical condition that took their child’s life, the Plowmans found congenital heart disease is the most common type of birth defect and is the leading cause of death from birth defects during the first year of life.

They found that the condition takes more lives of babies than cancer.

Seven months into her pregnancy about a year ago, Mrs. Plowman said she had purpose in life.

In literature connected with the golf tournament scheduled in February, Mrs. Plowman, a teacher at Chiefess Kamakahelei School in Puhi and a 1992 graduate of Kauai High School, said wanted to be a good teacher.

She said she wanted to be a good wife to Chad Plowman, a 1994 graduate of Kauai High School and an employee at the Marriott Hotel on Kaua‘i.

In anticipation of parenthood, Mrs. Plowman strived to lead a health life and to learn as much as she could about caring for a newborn baby.

The preparation for the arrival of their first-born took over the lives of the Plowmans.

The couple welcomed the birth of Connor Paet Plowman, on Feb. 18 at Wilcox Hospital. She weighed 7 pounds and seven ounces, and appeared healthy after a normal, full- term pregnancy and quick delivery, Mrs. Plowman wrote.

The only drawback was that Mrs. Plowman’s daughter struggled to breathe, and after her mother held the newborn for a brief moment, the baby was whisked away by attending nurses.

They reassured Mrs. Plowman that her baby had a little extra mucus buildup, and that they were going to take her to a pediatrician for a check up.

Mrs. Plowman later found out that the just minutes after her daughter was born, the baby’s lungs had filled with fluid, and she was thought to have pneumonia.

The pediatrician checked into the matter, but the long wait to determine what was bothering their child left the Plowman’s "bewildered beyond belief, terrified," Mrs. Plowman wrote.

"Many long, painstaking hours passed while praying to God and waiting for the Kapiolani Women’s and Children’s Medical Center air ambulance team to arrive and transport our baby to O‘ahu," Mrs. Plowman.

Members of Mrs. Plowman’s family weren’t allowed to ride on the medical plane, so they took a commercial flight to Honolulu until Mr. and Mrs. Plowman could get to O‘ahu.

The Plowmans talked with a pediatric cardiologist, who confirmed that their daughter had a congenital heart defect, that her condition was critical and that she was in dire need of open-heart surgery.

The best facility for that operation, Mrs. Plowman was told, was at the Loma Linda University Children’s Hospital in California.

Mrs. Plowman was officially discharged from Wilcox Hospital, and she and her husband prepared to fly to Oahu to meet their daughter at Kapiolani Medical Center and then to fly to the California hospital for the surgery.

"Time passed, and we waited for what seemed like an eternity," Mrs. Plowman wrote. When the couple reached the O‘ahu hospital, they saw a sight that made their hearts sink: Their child was hooked up to a ventilator with tubes and monitors.

The couple was heartbroken but was still hopeful, and that was "when she opened her eyes to look at me (Mrs. Plowman), a moment I will never forget the rest of my life," Mrs. Plowman wrote.

Before the baby could be transported by medical plane to California for the surgery, "her heart could no longer fight, her strength and endurance to survive ended," Mrs. Plowman wrote.

"We, as new parents, were forced to make the toughest decision we ever had to face -- to disconnect her from the ventilator," Mrs. Plowman wrote. "Because we loved her so much, we knew in our hearts we had to let her go."

The Plowmans have always found strength in God, but their faith in God plummeted with the death of their daughter.

"Why did God graciously bless us with Connor’s presence, only to take her back so suddenly?" Mrs. Plowman wrote.

The Plowmans had prayed daily from the moment Mrs. Plowman became pregnant until the day the couple’s daughter died.

From the time of their daughter’s death, the Plowmans felt only sorrow, anger and betrayal, Mrs. Plowman wrote.

While happy to see other young parents go home with their children, the Plowmans were embittered by their loss, and "went home empty-handed and worried about making funeral arrangements for our baby," Mrs. Plowman wrote.

The loss traumatized Mrs. Plowman, causing her illness, dizziness, back and neck pains, digestive problems and panic attacks. At times, she said she felt she had been overtaken by a fatal disease.

Doctors told her she was fine and needed time to heal from her loss.

But Mrs. Plowman said she blamed herself for her daughter’s death, took a leave of absence from her teaching job for fear of breaking down and not being able to devote herself entirely to her students.

"I dreaded leaving the house, and seeing or talking with anyone," Mrs. Plowman said.

The sight of mothers with their babies and pregnant women stirred hatred within her, she said. "I didn’t show it, but it hurt me so much to be around them," she wrote. "I am still struggling with that every day."

People she eventually let back in her life told her she was strong and resilient in the face of tragedy, Mrs. Plowman wrote.

But under the countenance of calm, Mrs. Plowman said she was hurting badly. "I felt like my whole world ended, and that when Connor died, a part of me died along with her," Mrs. Plowman wrote.

It was at this point that she began to realize that God would be her salvation, she said.

People gave words of comfort, but it was comments about God’s care for her from others that began to give her the greatest comfort, Mrs. Plowman said.

Six months after their daughter’s death, the Plowmans, through the help of "Aunty" Sally Wright-Callejo, became members with of the New Hope Kapa‘a congregation.

The time spent with church members hastened the healing process for the Plowmans. "We felt the love of Jesus in our hearts, especially by the many people who lovingly welcomed us with opened arms and also prayed for us," Mrs. Plowman wrote.

Joining the group has helped Mrs. Plowman become physically well again.

Her time spent with the group also has given her a perspective on the loss of her daughter, Mrs. Plowman said.

Mrs. Plowman said it was her belief God created her daughter for "his purpose," and that her daughter "was sent to be with Jesus to live joyously with him."

The Plowmans said they live day by day and hope to become a family soon.

"We feel the same (about the loss of their daughter), and we are much stronger every day," Chad Plowman said. "Still, we think about her everyday."

For more information about the Plowman’s upcoming golf tournament and party, please dial 652-5737 or at 651-9082

Staff writer Lester Chang can be reached at 245-3681 (ext. 225) and mailto:lchang@pulitzer.net